Music: An Unfathomable Presence

... and how it leads to my inexplicable behaviour.

With the many mentions of song titles and referencing the lyrics of some of them, and the post mourning the loss of Rhythm House, by now I am sure you have figured that music has had a disproportionate influence in my life. As United States Secretary of State Anthony Blinken says, “As much as I love being a musician, and it’s been the thread through much of my life, I lack the one skill necessary to make a career out of it, and that’s talent. But I still love it.” Untrained in any particular instrument, and with an even slimmer chance to sing my way out of any life or death situation (not that I expect to be in one, ever), Music, nevertheless, has been my ever-present loyal companion. Just as it is a struggle for me to put down in words what exactly Music means to me, I found that it is equally hard for even the best of dictionaries to zero down on one specific definition or meaning of Music. Below is what Merriam-Webster has to say about music:

My curiosity, now tickled, then led me to a little further digging into the global fount of knowledge – Wikipedia. This exploration turned out to be quite a tour. Indulge me a little here.

The etymology of Music itself is such a fascinating tale for an art form that seems to have been around since the dawn of civilisation. Per Wikipedia, “the modern English word 'music' came into use in the 1630s. It is derived from a long line of successive precursors: the Old English 'musike' of the mid-13th century; the Old French musique of the 12th century; and the Latin mūsica. The Latin word itself derives from the Ancient Greek mousiké (technē) — literally meaning "(art) of the Muses". The Muses were nine deities in Ancient Greek mythology who presided over the arts and sciences. Over time, Polyhymnia would preside over music more prominently than the other muses.”

In a way it is so obvious – muse / music, and yet I had never made the connect in all these years. And it was a revelation to know that the muses were “deities”, as against the popular notion of the word muse, which in the modern context means “subjects” that artistes take a fancy to.

What has consistently amazed me is how the most ephemeral and intangible of art forms has the most profound and tangible effect on most of us. As is evident, it is one of those very difficult to define art forms. Which is why it is probably the most pure of art forms - untarnished. It is also probably the most complete of art forms.

Music is the only art form that requires one, and only one, of our senses to appreciate it as a listener – the aural sense.

The visual sense comes a close second in the hierarchy of senses that are affected by music. The eyes can perceive the satisfaction of the performer on capturing a nuance in the notes. The eyes also witness and appreciate the beauty of watching an instrument or a musical note being brought to submission by the performer through cajoling, commanding, demanding, and occasionally even challenging. And then, of course, there are times when our eyes well up on experiencing a masterful performance or interpreting a certain lyric that complements the mood we are in.

Though metaphorical, as audience, we are touched by a musical performance in a way that a physical touch will fall short of. We feel satiated when we taste the deliciousness of a musical performance. And our olfactory senses go into a state of heightened awareness as we relive some of the scents, fragrances and smells of various objects, events or happenings whilst listening to an accomplished vocal performance of a virtuoso giving life to lyrics.

But the fact remains that even if the rest of the sensory faculties are forcibly shut out, Music still has the ability to reach us, reach out to us. It is this very quality that makes Music an unfathomable presence in our lives.

Is this all a bit too esoteric? A bit abstract? Maybe it is. But then so is Music, in a way. There are just so many forms, so many interpretations, so many genres, so many instruments, so many kinds, so many languages, so many many’s … I find it hard to completely comprehend the unfathomable vastness of Music.

Just the way I find my habit of going back to the same songs over and over again a bit hard to comprehend.

Especially since I am open to listening and experimenting with all genres of music, language no bar since music is the language.

Especially since I am completely at home listening to Western Rock, Pop, Hindi film songs, Ghazals (that’s a recent addition to my listening repertoire thanks to the persistent efforts of a dear friend), Hindustani classical vocal and instrumental, African desert blues, Jazz, Electronica, Ambient, Marathi film songs, etc etc …

Especially since four words – No Music, No Life - have been my life’s definition in a way.

Especially since the basis of christening my progeny has been my way of enshrining my abiding love for music.

What then could be the reason/s for going back to the same songs over and over again? Is it familiarity? Is it their melody? Is it the lyrics? Is it the overall composition? Is it the voice of the singer? I thought about this real hard and was surprised by my own conclusion. It actually wasn’t about the song or the singer or the lyrics or the composition. It was actually about me, and what my state of mind was whilst listening to these songs.

I have come to realise that when it comes to listening to the same song over and over again, to quote the title of a U2 song, it’s unlike being Stuck in a moment you can’t get out of.

It’s not that I can’t get out of the moment of listening to a song on loop.

It is that I don’t want to get out of those moments.

It is an inexplicable aspect of my behaviour of wanting to remain stuck in a musical warp (there isn’t such a term, I just made it up), but I will still make an attempt to put it in words.

At that particular moment, that particular song is a mirror to that particular state of mind that I am in. And that state of mind can be anything – happy, sad, soppy, floppy, melancholic, dance-y, sunshiny, tense, extravagant, nostalgic, dreamy, romantic, stressful, morbid, wistful, ecstatic … . It just so happens in my case that that state of mind is not a fleeting one, but one that has either been building up for some time at a conscious/subconscious level and it needs an outlet, or it is something that drops by unannounced and then decides to just stay put. The songs that I play on loop amplify | address | negate | sustain that state of my mind. It’s like the song becomes me. Or is it that I become the song?

Writing this post made me think of all the songs that I play on loop. So I actually sat down to put together a playlist. While drawing out the list, I realised that most of the listening on loop happened during commuting. There were occasions when I was able to steal some me-time on my way to work, or some meeting, or on the long drive back home. On some of these rare occasions I would resort to listening to the same song for the entire duration of the commute which could be anywhere from 20 odd minutes to sometimes even an hour. On these occasions, the guy who drives me around has been the victim of my tyranny by repetition. It’s a quid pro quo of sorts - he drives me, and I drive him (up the wall).

It was only when I sat down to put this list together that I realised that there are 60 such songs that I have listened to on loop, on more occasions than I can count. The trigger could have been anything – something that happened in the day, some place I passed by, someone I saw pass me by, someone I thought of, some incident that I was reminded of, etc etc.

Each of these songs has a special place for me. They are my panacea, my refuge to curl up and go into, to unburden (and occasionally burden) myself. And though language is no bar when it comes to music, it helps to listen to a song in a language you most relate to, to extract its essence to the fullest, to complement the state of mind in which you are listening it in. For me that language is mostly English, while the genre can be anything from pop, rock, country, blues, rap, hip-hop, etc. Besides, from a playlist perspective it would have been unwieldy to put together a list straddling not just genres, but also languages and forms, because my ‘loop’y behaviour is not restricted to only Western songs.

Given my penchant towards analysing and organising, I have tried to give a structure to what seemed to be ad-hoc triggers when I ended up listening to these songs on loop.

The categorisation below will feel a little ‘inspired’ by the lyrics of another (not so well known, but brilliant nevertheless) U2 song, Some days are better than others.

Some songs make me happy (Johnny Nash’s I Can See Clearly Now; or Nina Simone’s Feeling Good) … how can your day not become sunshiny after listening to songs like these first thing in the morning!

Some songs charge me up (the monster guitar riff of Led Zeppelin’s Immigrant Song; Jay-Z’s Empire State Of Mind) … much needed especially when en route to an important presentation and you need all the energy in the world. Usually going for important presentations is a team thing in advertising. But there have been occasions when I have preferred traveling alone. In case those of you who have worked with me have wondered why, now you know the reason. I was only charging myself up blasting some song on loop.

Some songs make me melancholic (The Beatles’ Eleanor Rigby & In My Life; Joy Division’s Love Will Tear Us Apart; Tears For Fears’ Mad World; Radiohead’s Decks Dark) … it’s not a regular occurrence, but strangely I feel good after hearing a sad song … makes me appreciate all that life has given me.

Some songs are my support in melancholic times (INXS’s Never Tear Us Apart; Natalie Imbruglia’s Torn; Suzanne Vega’s Solitude Standing; The Eels’ Novocaine For The Soul; or a 13 year old Michael Jackson singing Ain’t No Sunshine) … when you want to be left alone, but feel that a partner-in-feelings is needed more than a cheerleader.

Some songs take me to a different planet (R.E.M.s Losing My Religion; Oasis’ Wonderwall) … there is not as much lyrical significance of these songs for me, but they never fail to take me into a zone through their sheer brilliance as compositions.

Some songs make me want to shake a leg in spite of the strictly no-dance reputation that I am known for (ABBA’s Dancing Queen, Michael Jackson’s Billie Jean) … even I can’t resist the urge to hit the floor when one of these is playing.

Some songs tell me why words make the opposite sex go weak in the knees (U2’s All I Want Is You; Sting’s Mad About You & Fields Of Gold; Simply Red’s Stars) … how can someone resist the power of feelings and emotions and sentiments that are evoked through the lyrics … imagine someone promising you a highway with no one on it, or when someone tells you that you will forget the Sun in his jealous sky as we walk in the fields of gold … stunningly beautiful imagery to get lost into, isn’t it?

Some songs just have a superb beat to them (Jovanotti’s Piove; The National’s Rylan; Rag n’ Bone Man’s Human) … songs like these are brilliant perk-me-up’s.

Some songs are rainy day songs (James’ Sometimes) … great to listen to while it’s raining outside and you are comfortably ensconced in the cosy comforts of your car or home.

Some songs give me hope (David Bowie’s Heroes; U2’s Some Days Are Better Than Others; Gorillaz’s Clint Eastwood) … we could all be heroes, even if it is just for one day!

Some songs make me reflect (Harry Chapin’s Cat’s In The Cradle; U2’s Bad; Bruce Springsteen’s One Step Up) … about upbringing, about bringing up your child, about relationships, about the decisions you make, about the choices you make.

Some songs make me wonder about the life that we all lead (The Police’s Synchronicity II; Snow Patrol’s Chasing Cars; Gotye’s Smoke and Mirrors) … the rat race, the sacrifices, the compromises that we make to make our mark. For what? For whom?

Some songs are about genius at work (U2’s One; Prince’s When Doves Cry; George Michael’s Father Figure) … forget a single commute, these are songs I can play all day long. If someone tells me that I have only one song that I can listen to for the rest of my life, One would be it!

Some songs make me wonder … (Pink Floyd’s Time; The Passengers’ Miss Sarajevo) … how such a composition was conjured … where the lyrics and melody are so beautifully intertwined that they become impossible to think of one without the other.

Some songs make me wistful (Eminem’s Mockingbird & Stan; Bruce Springsteen’s Blood Brothers; The Police’s Every Breath You Take; Collective Soul’s When The Water Falls) … about relationships, some broken, some fragile, some on the mend, some young, some old and for life.

Some songs are just brilliant melodies (The Stranglers’ Golden Brown; The Cranberries’ Dreams & Linger) … lilting, almost like they’re being lifted off the waves of feelings and emotions and sentiments.

And of course, there are some songs which I couldn’t categorise but have an effect on me that makes me want to listen to them on loop.

Ladies and Gentlemen … (drum roll) … I give you … The Loop Playlist!

You can see the list of all the songs here. You can download the playlist from the links below as per the player of your choice.

Even if you don’t share my sentiments behind the songs, or don’t relate to the very concept of listening to something on loop, it is, if I may say so at the risk of sounding uncharacteristically boastful, a damn good playlist!

Be braver. Be kinder.

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Two documentaries on the universally acknowledged greatest band in the world, ever! Together they tell a story of a sea change in the band in terms of their behaviour, their attitudes, their interpersonal relationships, and most importantly in their music. Riveting watch, both.

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A fantastic biopic of the greatest band the world has ever seen/heard. It captures a specific period in time in their career - from 1962-65. That period was full of manic touring that the band took on. It was also their most prolific from a musical standpoint. Eventually the touring got to them and the last 5 odd years of the band they didn’t tour at all. As Lennon says ‘They Beatles were about the music. And the people who came for our concerts started coming for the show, not the music. We became a circus.’ The only words that come to mind to describe their popularity are stupendous & staggering. To put it in perspective, it’s been more than 50 years since they disbanded, but they are still very much part of our lives. This documentary will tell you why. Do watch when you can, even if you’re not a fan of The Beatles.

The Beatles: Eight Days A Week - The Touring Years | Not on any OTT platform in India; don’t know if they still broadcast it on TV.

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Culled out from almost 60 hours of footage shot in 1969 that got done into a controversial film then (Let It Be), that projected the band as a bitter, cynical bunch of individuals on the verge of breaking up, this 7.5 hrs plus documentary (about a documentary) is a fly-on-the-wall experience for viewers. It takes you deep inside the recording sessions of the band, shows their interpersonal relationships, their tremendous respect for each other as musicians, their hang-ups, their insecurities, their fights, and their endless jamming of ideas and tunes. You reach a point of thinking how it’ll add up for the rooftop performance, but once the band kicks off, it’s magic. The only irritant - the leech-like presence of Yoko Ono through and through. A music lover will appreciate the fly-on-the-wall feel, no doubt. And as someone who has been part of the creative process of developing advertising campaigns for a career, I could relate to it even more as I saw even the very best pushing deadlines, cancelling plans, working weekends, the tensions, the stress, the doubts on how, and when, and if, it will all add up … and then magic happens … just like that.

The Beatles: Get Back | Documentary | 3 Episodes | Disney+Hotstar